Cooties Catcher
by Dove dubs
Summary: Because even saints have their limits and Penelo knows she can never compete. After all, she's only one girl “So, I’ll ask you one more time. Are you really really reaaaallly sure you’re not infected?” - Vaan


Disclaimer: I do not own FFXII. If I did, the world would see much more than one measly sequel.

A/N: This is my very first one-shot.

I'm not exactly sure where this came from. But it was begging to be written. And so I typed it. I would hope I kept the pair in character..but its been pratically _eons_ since I finished the game. I tried. I really did. So heres crossing my fingers that I did the two justice.

Timeline wise, I'd say this most likely occured when Vaan & Penelo were about 9 years old. Not sure whether that puts the plague or Archadian invasion before or afterwards though. Constructive criticism, reviews are all welcome.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Cooties Catcher**

* * *

She doesn't understand the first time he asked, because for one thing, he's been her best friend since _forever_ and for another, he's _Vaan_. Who knows what went on in his head. There are times when even she's convinced he has no brain. Certainly that explanation would ring true whenever she's forced to save his skinny butt from the occasional poker-faced guards to the more familiar (if only because Vaan gets hungry more often than he gets bored) but equally menacing local merchants.

But perhaps she should have addressed the issue properly the first time. By slapping his face silly, of course. Because now Vaan believes the topic's fair game throughout all hours of the day. Even when all Penelo wants to do is sit prettily and have a decent _sane _conversation with Reks. Then Vaan introduces the topic with such vigor and animation, she swears if it weren't for Rek's presence Vaan would have a new reason to be wearing those ridiculous metal shin guards. But alas, a lady never kicks. And she is nothing if not gracious.

However even saints have their limits and she soon found herself gritting her teeth for the umpteenth time when she spies Vaan squatting outside Migelo's. He quickly falls in step beside her .

"Hey, guess what Penelo? You should've seen the size of the rats today. They were so huge. No wait…more like _Gigantic._ Yeah that's it. They were _gigantic_. I bet they were like the biggest rats anyone's ever seen."

She cocks an eyebrow. "Oh really? And how do you know that?"

"Simple. Everyone knows Lowtown has the most rats. So obviously they have to have the biggest too. It's a fact."

Still grinning, Vaan sidles closer. "Just like the existence of cooties."

"_..and faeries, and ghosts, and vampires and your stupid stupid zombies ."_ Mentally, she ticks off a whole list but stays wisely silent.

Suddenly he comes to an abrupt halt then spins around so they're face to face. 'Hey Penelo…are you _sure _you don't have it? Like, absolutely positively? 'Cause I've been talking to Cirk and he says _all _girls have it. Vaan smirks widely, arms twisting discreetly to pinch a star fruit from a nearby vendor.

Groaning, she slaps his hand away and fights the growing urge to throttle the blonde as Vaan squinted, peering critically at her face.

"He says they look like tiny little bugs and once you get it, there's no cure. EVER." He blanched, shuddering lightly. Penelo fought back a giggle. "So, I'll ask you one more time. Are you really _really _reaaaallly sure you're not _infected_?"

She rolls her eyes then smacks his face away easily with her palm. 'Yes I'm sure, Vaan. Why? Do you see anything?' she asks dryly.

'Maybe. But you'll have to stand still. '

"I don't think cooties are something you can see, Vaan.'

"Aha!" He crows, strutting about proudly. "So you admit they're real; they're just too small to see."

She in turn gapes at him a little bit. Then grins.

"Alright, you got me," She sighs dramatically for effect. "I have ..cooties. But you wanna know something else? Girls can also pass it onto guys by kissing so get ready to _pucker up_, Vaan!"

* * *

Somehow, she doubts the stingy merchants would _ever _forgive the screaming boy tearing furiously down the bazaar. The same pathetic boy who bowls over several of their stalls in his mad dash away from a small, pig tailed girl.

Cackling loudly, she pauses her pursuit and threatens to plant a nice big wet one on his mouth if he so much as dares try to tattle to Reks.

Vaan whimpers.

And she resumes her chase.

Fin.


End file.
